No, I'm not talking about the new "Girls Gone Wild" episode. Rather, I'm referring to those breasts charged with carrying milk. That's right . . . the topic is breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding in public has hit the headlines again, with a mother being kicked off of a city bus for nursing her child. In the United States of America, where the youth can walk around with pants down to their knees and there are underwear ads on billboards at every other block, mothers are still condemned for daring to feed their children outside of the home, a restroom, or a dressing room.
And those same mothers are constantly bombarded with conflicting messages. Doctors and nurses constantly tell us that "breast milk is best," yet if our babies don't latch on correctly right away, they shove formula from their sponsors at us. At the same time, mothers who do breastfeed successively often face family members who are less than supportive. Those of us lucky enough to have encouragement at home then face the big, cruel world where we are at least occasionally going to run into an individual who questions our right to feed our child in public.
Those who express their disgust outright don't bother me. I'm aware of my (and my children's) rights, and I simply ignore people who give me dirty looks or dare to say something when I am nursing my baby. You know who really annoys me? The individuals who act like they are all for breastfeeding in public and then say something like, "Well, as long as you cover up." You've obviously never tried to nurse a fidgety baby or even a well-behaved one in 100 degree heat.
I've breastfed three babies, and all were very different eaters. My first got down to business, was done in twenty minutes, and didn't want to eat again for 4-6 hours. Because of that time frame, I didn't have to nurse her very often in public, and when I did, she would happily eat with a blanket over her head.
My second, a boy, wanted to eat every one-and-a-half hours. No, I am not exaggerating. For the first three months of his life, that's how often I nursed. Needless to say, with my oldest enrolled in preschool and other activities, that meant I was breastfeeding in public. A LOT. Luckily, he would also happily chow down under a blanket, and I didn't have too many people look askance in my direction.
Enter our darling third. From the get-go, she needed to be on the move, even when eating. It was almost as if she got bored easily, and her attention span only allowed her to nurse from one side in a feeding. This meant she would eat for about 10-15 minutes, take a 15-20 minute break, and then want to eat from the other breast. Needless to say, it took forever to feed her. Even when she started wanting to nurse from both sides in a single feeding, her need to know everything that was going on around her kept me from being able to cover her up. I tried numerous times to use a blanket or nursing cover. She would arch her little back and scream bloody murder, refusing to latch on. I had to make a decision to let my child starve or bare my breasts to the world.
She is now five months old, and sometimes we have feeding options. I've been known to nurse in the car . . . and no, I don't get in the back seat. I'm in my own vehicle, and if you look into my car and don't like what you see, you are free to look the other way. I've also sat in a corner and used the stroller to "block the view", so to speak. But one time, when it was 97 degrees, and we were at Kings Dominion, I had no choice but to sit in the open, pull up my shirt, and feed my child. I was so pleasantly surprised when there were no dirty looks, and a few people even still looked me in the eye!
So, when you see a mother nursing in public, please know that most of us don't want to be showing off our breasts, either. And the fact of the matter is, once the baby has latched on, there isn't much to see. Please don't act like I'm causing a problem for you because now you have to "explain something" to your own children. Adults are the ones who want to make it into a sexual thing. Children are naturally curious, and seeing someone breastfeeding is the perfect opportunity to talk about how amazing it is that the female body is able to provide for infants in that way. My older children's friends have asked questions, and it has been my privilege to have a little conversation with both them and their parents about it.
Also, if you are a breastfeeding mother, please don't feel that everyone out there is against you. When I was sitting outside the farmer's market, waiting on my mother and children, and nursing YET AGAIN, I saw an elderly woman headed my way, looking at me pretty intently. I braced myself for another derogatory comment or lecture. Instead, she made eye contact, smiled, and gave me a thumb's up. That was the best endorsement I could have received.
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